Are You An Unhappy High Achiever?
Updated: Dec 30, 2022
You seem to have it all on the outside. But, despite your worldly achievements, you feel deeply unfulfilled and empty.
You know nothing is inherently wrong with you, and nothing is broken. Yet you experience inner struggle and conflict.
You have dreams, but then you experience fear. You have a vision, but then you tell yourself that you are too busy, too tired, have too much responsibility . . . there is always too much “something”.
You have achieved impressive outcomes, but you just can’t seem to find the motivation to go to the next level! You don’t even know your next level, and you are running out of inner fuel.
You have taken various self-development and personal growth programs to achieve high optimization, but you find your enthusiasm never lasts. You find yourself constantly chasing more to feel better. You are overwhelmed and burned out while feeling IT’S NEVER ENOUGH !
You have changed jobs, careers, places, friends, and even relationships, but the inner struggle never seems to ease up.
If you have gone a bit too far, it’s showing up in your body now as exhaustion, chronic pain, disinterest, anxiety, depression, or even insomnia.
You are not alone. According to research by well-known educator and life coach to Fortune 500 leaders Vance Caesar, 92% of high achievers are unhappy. Our external reasons and situations might differ, but within, we have the same primitive yearning to tap into our inner creative spark, connect with OUR deepest SELF, and realize our limitless potential.
Traditional self-help puts together an all-out warfare solution that advocates discipline, effort, dominance, and power structures to defeat, and conquer the inner struggle and achieve success. It invariably can produce results and success in targeted areas. Yet, sadly, with this approach, the high achievers (and you) have been left feeling depleted, misunderstood, unsure, and alone and have rocky relationships, poor health, or a vague sense of purpose or meaning in life.
High achievers need a different approach to reach their next level. Conventional methodologies can even work against them and they can fall into the same cycle repeatedly.
What’s needed is a shift from effort to effortlessness!
The initial shift is to “effortless awareness,” which means being aware and honest within and seeing that your drive is actually based on fear. Start with recognizing symptoms like feelings of uneasiness, perfectionism, fear of failure, impatience, worry, out-of-control, self-critical, and urge to be special or validate yourself through achievements. Next, inquire into questions like “Why are you doing what you are doing?” to reveal hidden fears like self-worthlessness, loneliness, helplessness, feeling insignificant, insecurity and uncertainty.
The second shift is to “effortless action,” accepting, understanding, and dissolving any suppressed feelings with curiosity, compassion, and trust. For some deeply rooted fears, just thinking positive or positive affirmations won’t help. We need to integrate and heal the inner child and shadow parts at the somatic level. High achievers have various hidden childhood traumas and conditioning like imposter syndrome, emotional suppression, emotional neglect, shame and guilt. These patterns have to be met with, integrated and released.
The third shift is to “effortless alignment”, connecting to who you are at the deepest level, where you reignite and reclaim the synergy of your internal circuitry (mind, body & heart). When you rediscover this place of limitless possibilities and true potential, peace, clarity, freedom, and joy naturally flow. This is the beauty of “effortless alignment”! From here on, you will be able to thrive on your next-level potential that is aligned, authentic, and inspired. You can finally express from presence and openness rather than fear!
We all have had various experiences where ideas flow to us, solutions appear as sudden insights, and it feels like we are in a flow. Flow is one of the manifestations of this inner space. The more you spend in this space, the more the magic flows. Whether it is your work life, or personal life, you are naturally compassionate, creative, and bubbling with possibilities.
Remember, when you feel stuck, don't look for immediate band-aid solutions, but go WITHIN. A deeper creative intelligence begins to flow.
I have personally used deep contemplative inquiry practices, journaling, somatic healing for childhood traumas, insight meditations, and emotional mastery. I have also worked through some of my childhood conditioning with the help of my coaches.
Work-life, family life, and inner life are not separate entities. They all are ONE. The sooner we integrate them, the more effortless life becomes.
Sometimes putting this all together is difficult and time-consuming. However, working with a coach who has gone through a similar situation makes this journey much more effortless!
Sunitha Sandeep, Executive Coach